The site’s Slush Pile Hell, and it includes pages of deliciously botched, mangled, and riotously presumptuous query letters from aspiring authors, and the agent’s wry responses.
Here are some of my favorites. Visit the site for many more:
“I recently quit my job to become an author. As a result, I am happy to say that I now have a manuscript for your review.
Congratulations on an incredibly wise move! I always advise my new clients to immediately quit their day jobs and to go ahead and put down payments on Italian sports cars and villas in the South of France. Anything else is a negative, defeatist attitude that, quite frankly, makes me want to vomit.”
“….While this is a literary novel, I believe it could appeal to low-class readers.
And all the “low-class readers” will rejoice at your largess, bequeathing such a literary gift to them. I hereby nominate you as Humanitarian of the Year.”
“Dear xxxx, let’s not waste words. I’ve attached my manuscript. Get it published.
Dear author: yes, let’s not. Bite me.”
Funny stuff, and sadly all too true. Read more at bigthink.com.